I miss her... I think...

I apologize ahead of time, this might get a bit angsty. I really don't like being like that, but sometimes, you have to be.

As I stated earlier, I recently broke up with Dino Hunter. Part of it was that we're much better as friends. Part of it was that she's 700 miles away. Part of it was that I was more interested than she.

I miss her. it's weird because i want to talk to her, but i can't because we're in that awkward phase of "we just broke up, and thus can't really talk about it." and thus i am left to be angsty and mope about. I really hate people who mope about because they just broke up, so I really try not to, and so I go hang out with friends, play games, try and enjoy life as much as I can.

What i really need to do is cry. I need to go ahead and cry about it, and get it out of my system. Unfortunately, my body is refusing to cry. or maybe I just need to fuckng tell her how i feel, but then if i do that i'll seem weird, pathetic, and a loser, so I refuse to go that route.

See, the issue is that before we broke up, I had been waffling about breaking up with her for like, 2 months (we dated for 5). Thus, I got what i wanted. But i also really would have liked to actually spend more time with her. I really did want it to work out.

I'm just confused, alone, and needing guidance.

*grumble and publish*

Hairdo

I've had the same hairstyle for the past several years. Well, okay, i've switched back and forth between 2 hairstyles for the past several years, depending on the season. Regardless, it would seem my friends want it to change. Last night, after work, we were hanging around, chatting, enjoying Theater Lady's margaritas, and on of my friends messes up my hair and declares, "It's sexy." After which, Smacker agrees, and anytime I attempt to return my hair to it's normal state, they mess it up again, evetually convincing everyone else that it really does look good on me, and that i should get it styled as such.

"It's very european," declares Ho as she goes about messing with my hair while eating some chips and salsa.

yeah, my friends are crazy.

Initial post

Hi. You may call me Winshield. This is obviously not my real name, but an alias, so that i can remain anonymous for the most part.

I am starting this blog so that i may talk about my life without worrying who might read it. I shall not tell anyone i know that i write here, but if you do discover this on your own, Welcome. Things I say here may at times be dull, or boring, they may also be exciting. regardless, i shall continue to post even if no one reads at all.

The other reason i wish to start this blog is so i can post away from the prying eyes of family. i have secrets they need not know of... yet. perhaps in the future, they will.

one of these secrets is that i am seeing "Filmer" on a regular basis. That's obviously not her real name. We talk, we sing, we sin, and just generally enjoy each other's company. Unfortunately, Filmer still lives with her parents, thus making it awkward at times, considering we can be naughty occassionally. Filmer, though, is one of the main reasons Dino Hunter allowed me to be intimate with other people. and though Dino Hunter and I are no longer dating, I still feel bad about having cheated on her. I will just say, that long distance relationships are terrible, and I hope not to be in another one any time soon.

So now that you have a basic understanding of my relationship status, I shall finish this post. Have fun.